Return to School Emotional Support Tools
Can visualisation support a successful transition into school?
Our last Signpost focused on how you as a parent or carer can adjust the ways you move and speak when you too, understandably, feel anxious about your child’s upcoming return to (or start at) school next week.
Today, we will begin our focus on some simple and practical strategies you might want to introduce at home. They don’t require a degree or any fancy resources. They simply ask for a little of your time and attention.
I hope you’ll find this pretty accessible and maybe something you can dig out of the emotional kit bag again in future. Transitions are inevitable for all of us - you could develop activities like this to suit the young person who only you know best, as their parent or carer, so that you can adapt and go back to them with each new transition the future brings. Familiarity and repetition are the things that bring confidence to all of us in time.
I use visualisation with any age group. From workshops with young children to coaching with adult professionals, the technique can be adapted for every age, situation and aptitude. There’s plenty of research into the benefits of visualisation and how this mental process can positively influence physical and emotional health. ‘Visualisation or practice in the mind’s eye can boost performance.’ (K Maidment, Switched-On Kids Cognition ).
Engaging the mind's eye is a valuable resource in empowering those who will be helped by feeling they have ownership of and agency over their own pathway. This is a key factor when it comes to returning to school or making any transition - the navigator (your child in this case) is also the captain for the journey. This is not something the adults in education have much freedom or resource to grant children often - Let's take this opportunity to hand your child the map and compass.
“Visualising outcomes that you want can increase your confidence. ‘Seeing’ yourself succeed helps you believe that it can - and will - happen. Visualisation helps you practice success. When you imagine every step of an event or activity going well, you get your mind and body ready to take those steps in real like” www.mindtools.com
So here’s how to approach visualisation with your child. Talk the directions through in a steady, soft tone, to guide your child in seeing their own safety and success. (Get in touch if you could do with some modelling before you start):
Sit comfortably in a familiar and quiet place that brings a sense of belonging to your child - such as a beanbag on their bedroom floor or blanket-den in the front room.
Tell your child to close their eyes if they feel comfortable with that, and let their body rest as they breathe in a nice steady rhythm - in to a count of four, hold for four, exhale to a count of four, hold for four.
Once breathing is regular, settle down and just listen. There’s no rush.
Gently ask your child to notice sounds in themselves, sounds around them, the temperature, the feeling of the floor or seat under them, their heart in their chest, any colours they see through closed eyelids - focusing on the senses and detail is useful as it helps eliminate distracting thoughts. Your child isn’t expected to answer any of your questions, you’re simply making suggestions for them to reassure and guide their thoughts.
Guide your child through this with a steady calm tone, no rush, no distractions, just your undivided attention and care (i.e. their favourite thing).
Ask them to picture the first morning when their alarm sounds or you wake them up. ‘Which PJ’s are you wearing, what do you see in your room as you open your eyes, how do the covers feel on your skin…?’ - You’re looking forward to the day ahead. What does excitement and anticipation feel like in your body? It's going to be a fantastic day.
Continuing with their eyes closed, talk your child through imagining each action and step of that morning. You brush your teeth, see yourself in the mirror and smile to yourself - even high five your reflection (thanks, Mel Robbins). Walk through in your mind getting dressed with ease, everything you need is there, feeling smart and comfortable in your uniform, having breakfast, chatting with your family who are all confident that your first day will be just ace.
Imagine together the details of the journey to school, what landmarks you pass, who you see and how your bag feels on your back.
Talk your child through arriving at the gate or playground and what you’ll say to each other - something positive, fun, warm, familiar, assuring. (You can prepare your part in this in advance and show your child that they’re in your mind). Ask them to imagine how the big hug, firm touch, high five or smile (whatever you know works for you both and is familiar), will feel as they head into school. You could say “I’ll be seeing you at 3”, instead of, ‘Have a good day, G’bye”. This will help your child feel steadied and know you’ll be back without a doubt.
The last step in the visualisation will be about the people they’ll see: smiling faces, open greetings, and busy chatter. Then you can talk your child through breathing deeply again as we did at the start, becoming aware again of the room they’re in right now: The floor, beanbag or chair they’re sitting on, focusing back on the sounds of their home, head and heart. When ready, open eyes and prioritise a moment of just quiet connection together.
You can repeat this exercise each day at the same time, with details getting more specific and clear each time (or exactly as they were the first time if it felt right). This will make the imagined scenario become real in your child’s mind each time and gain their buy-in - therefore making it more and more likely by the time they head out to school next week.
If you’d like to gain some more strategies or talk this one through, do get in touch.
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